thecages

I've previously blogged about wanting to enter the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest for the opening sentence to the worst possible novel and despite best intentions have again missed this year's contest - rats!

Here's the 2006 winner - retired mechanical designer Jim Guigli

Detective Bart Lasiter was in his office studying the light from his one small window falling on his super burrito when the door swung open to reveal a woman whose body said you've had your last burrito for a while, whose face said angels did exist, and whose eyes said she could make you dig your own grave and lick the shovel clean.

I still believe that I have a winner in the form of the opening sentence to my as-yet unwritten novel: Memoirs of a Slut.

She never put out on the first date of the day.